


Come Fly With Me

by thedeathlymarshmallows



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, au: space??? ships??? spaceships???? clones in space????, i'm so sorry i don't even know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3723604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedeathlymarshmallows/pseuds/thedeathlymarshmallows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Sarah is the Captain of a run-down spacecraft and valiantly tries to guide it through the universe in one piece. Unfortunately her crew are less than useless and her arch-rival Rachel Duncan has the most outrageous and impressive star ship in the system.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Fly With Me

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what to say, the idea came to me and I just had to roll with it please love me.
> 
> I also don't know if this is gonna be a one-off or if I'll add to it. Road to a Happy Clone Club is still my main priority, you feel me? Sweeeet.

"WHY ARE WE FLYIN' INTO A BLACKHOLE? WHO PLOT THE SHITTIN' COURSE?"

"I JUST WANTED TO TEST THE THEORY OF HOW CLOSE A MARK 10 CRUISER COULD GET WITHOUT BEING SUCKED INTO ITS GRAVITATIONAL PULL-"

"COSIMA ARE YOU TELLIN' ME YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE?!"

"NO! JUST _ACCIDENTALLY_ ON PURPOSE!"

The ship lurched violently to the side.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?" Sarah Manning demanded, looking the very picture of stress as she clambered into the Captain's chair.

"Space debris," was the very calm and collected response from Delphine as she sat at the controls in front of the Captain. She was gazing out of the viewport at the front of the ship in wonder. "You know Cosima, its gravitational pull is even stronger than our charts predicted, it's magnifique-"

"You created _charts?!"_ Sarah interrupted hotly, feeling thoroughly undermined, "Jus' how long have you two bloody nutjobs been plannin' this?!"

Cosima adjusted her glasses awkwardly. There was another loud crash as what looked like a giant space rock smashed into their force field and then casually rocketed past the viewport. "A few weeks, I guess."

Sarah stared at Cosima.

Cosima stared at Sarah.

"If this blackhole doesn't kill all of us then I swear to God," Sarah hissed, "I'm 'gonna kill you myself-"

_"HENDRIX TO CAPTAIN MANNING."_

Sarah punched the intercom button on the arm of her chair violently. _"What?!"_

_"WE APPEAR TO BE DRIFTING INTO A BLACKHOLE."_

"Yeah I'm _aware_ of the situation, thanks Alison-"

_"I'M COMING ON DECK."_

Sarah gave a long, weary sigh. It was a sigh that encapsulated not just how done she was with the entirety of her crew but also with the universe at large and all it entailed. She slowly sunk her head into her hands.

The door to the left of Sarah _schwooshed_ open and in marched Alison Hendrix herself.

_Stomp, stomp, stomp!_

"What's the plan then?" Alison demanded, stood as close to Sarah's chair as was physically possible without actually sitting in it, "I don't know about you but I have no intention of becoming...becoming..." She gestured aggressively at the viewpoint, which was sporting a wonderful image of the blackhole they faced, ready to swallow them all into oblivion, "...becoming some kind of squashed cosmic space goo!"

"Actually that probably wouldn't happen," Cosima began helpfully, her face brightening up considerably for the first time since she'd set all of their inevitable deaths in motion, "like, no one's a hundred per cent sure what would happen once you go in a blackhole, but recently there's been loads of theories about time and new dimensions and-"

"Wormholes!" Delphine added with a beaming smile.

"Yeah, wormholes! Like did you even read the latest paper on quantum parallel hyper space?"

The question hung empty in the air. Everyone was looking expectantly at Sarah. Sarah hadn't raised her head out of her hands. A loud, highly aggrieved groan was all she could muster in response before smashing the intercom again. "Helena?"

_"SESTRA."_

"No! No, no, definitely not _her!"_ Alison smacked Sarah's hand off the intercom, only for Sarah to smack her back. The two engaged in a small struggle which consisted of slapping each other's hands with increasingly hostility until Alison eventually gave in with a huff and a roll of the eyes. She stormed off to stare aggressively out of the viewpoint at their impending doom.

"Helena," Sarah started again, "what do you know about blackholes?"

_"THEY ARE LIKE A HUNGRY TUMMY IN SPACE."_

Sarah gazed off into the distance unblinkingly. She couldn't believe this. Helena was their latest addition to the crew and she was meant to be their Chief Weapons and Engineering Officer. She hadn't filled anyone with confidence since joining, mainly due to the fact she never followed orders, and it was only Cosima who actually had any faith left in the blonde's abilities.

"She's very good," Cosima presently offered, having gauged that Sarah's mood was less than impressed with Helena's latest pearl of knowledge, "All the space pirates rate her like _crazy high."_

Sarah took a deep breath. She leant as close to the intercom as possible and gently pressed the intercom button once more. "Helena, how would you get out the gravitational pull of a blackhole once you're in it?"

_"EXPLODE."_

"You what?"

_"EXPLODE."_

"You'd explode?"

_"I WILL SET THE SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE NOW."_

Alison let out a shriek of terror. Sarah slowly nodded to herself and then sank back into her chair. Her eyes were closed and she looked, for all intents and purposes, as though she'd accepted her fate.

"SARAH WOULD YOU CALL OFF THAT LUNATIC?!" Alison was flinging herself over to the Captain's chair as fast as physically possible. She smashed the intercom repeatedly. "HELENA STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING IMMEDIATELY. I REPEAT STOP WHAT YOU ARE-"

**"SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED."**

Another scream of pure horror. Even Cosima and Delphine looked mildly alarmed.

"Dude," Cosima said, "do you think, like, she literally meant explode?"

**"SELF-DESTRUCT IN 10 MINUTES."**

"Oui, I think she did."

"Shiiiiiiiiiittt."

"DELPHINE WOULD YOU PLEASE DO YOUR JOB?!" Alison ordered, pointing at the control panel in front of the blonde, "OVERRIDE THE SEQUENCE."

"Oh, right! Of course!" Delphine jolted into action, her hands a blur on the control panel. It took all of five seconds for her to give up and lean back dejectedly into her chair. "It is no use, she has locked me out."

"What?!" Alison snapped.

Delphine shrugged and gestured vaguely to Cosima. "Well, I have to agree with the space pirates, she's very good-"

"MOVE OVER," Alison interrupted, shoving Delphine unceremoniously out of her seat. She was hitting the keys on the control panel in sheer desperation, having not a clue what a single one of them did. Within moments she was a sobbing wreck, leant over with her head resting on the control panel.

"We're all going to die," Alison said, ever the optimist.

It was at this point that a huge light brightened the deck and practically blinded everyone on board, par Sarah who still had her eyes shut. It vanished as quickly as it had come and Sarah couldn't help but peek open one eye to take a look at the viewport at what had caused such a disturbance.

A colossal spacecraft was between them and the blackhole, with huge beaming lights and engines and gargantuan guns and gyro cannons and-

_**"RACHEL DUNCAN."** _

The voice boomed out with clear precision on the deck, heralding the appearance of Sarah's worst nightmare.

_"Oh fu-"_

_**"YOU APPEAR TO BE IN QUITE THE PREDICAMENT, SARAH. AGAIN."** _

"I've got it all under control Duncan, so you can piss off with your big dorky spaceship alright?" Sarah barked back, suddenly reinvigorated with life and energy, "And stop hackin' our intercom system, _your voice makes all the plants on board die-"_

 _ **"IRRELEVANT,"** _ Rachel's voice kindly cut in, _**"TOPSIDE NOTICED YOUR POSITION AND DEDUCED YOU WERE ABOUT TO BE SUCKED INTO A BLACKHOLE. THEY ASKED US TO ASSIST."**_

"Well it was a wasted journey, yeah? We _meant_ to get sucked into the blackhole's gravitational pull. We're...y'know..." Sarah glanced helplessly at Cosima.

"Testing theories!" Cosima finished with a fist bump in the air.

A slight pause from Rachel Duncan's end.

 ** _"YOU'RE TESTING THEORIES THAT HAVE ALREADY BEEN TESTED?"_ ** She reiterated.

Sarah scowled. It didn't sound as good when Rachel said it. "Yeah, well it's top secret and you're not invited so take it up with Topside if you have a problem-"

**"SELF-DESTRUCT IN 5 MINUTES"**

Another pause. This wasn't painting a very good picture of Sarah's command.

**_"WAS THAT THE SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE?"_ **

"NO!" Sarah roared furiously into the intercom, despite all evidence to the contrary and the fact the self-destruct alarm had blared loudly into life, "EVERYTHIN' IS RUNNIN' SMOOTHLY ON OUR END SO I DUNNO WHAT YOU'VE FUCKED UP ON THE STARSHIP OVERCOMPENSATION OVER THERE BUT-"

 _ **"DON'T BE JEALOUS OF THE THINGS YOU DON'T HAVE AND CAN'T AFFORD, SARAH,"** _ Rachel's voice interrupted pleasantly, _**"I'M AFRAID THIS DECISION IS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. WE'RE TOWING YOU AWAY FROM THE BLACKHOLE. PLEASE BE PREPARED FOR IMPACT."**_

"Impact?!" Alison questioned immediately, head finally raised from the control panel.

But rather than a nice verbal response, Rachel's answer came in the form of what looked like a massive harpoon smashing violently into the hull of their spacecraft. Cosima and Delphine both let out startled yells and fell into a haphazard pile on the floor whilst Alison and Sarah hung onto their chairs for dear life.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL, DUNCAN?!" Sarah yelled, "YOU'VE TAKEN OUT HALF MY SHIP-"

 _ **"WELL IT'S HARDLY MY FAULT IT'S SO SMALL,"** _ was the sympathetic reply as the engines on Rachel's spacecraft roared into life, briefly blinding everyone once more. There was another violent jolt as Sarah's ship began to be towed behind Rachel's rather more impressive one.

**"SELF-DESTRUCT IN 1 MINUTE"**

"Should we, like, do something about that?" Cosima asked as she and Delphine struggled to her chair. They both valiantly set about squeezing into it together.

"Nah, it's fine. Let's see what Helena had in mind," Sarah replied, waving a hand dismissively as if her spacecraft wasn't about to explode in less than sixty seconds.

"But what if we die?" Alison demanded, glaring accusingly in the Captain's direction, "She's just some space mercenary Cosima found back in the Proleathean system, maybe this is what she planned all along!"

Sarah shook her head. "No way, I saw all the jell-o she brought on board. You don't bring that much jell-o anywhere jus' to blow it up."

Alison opened her mouth to argue but Sarah held up a hand to silence her. With her loudest and most discontented huff to date, Alison resigned herself to her fate (which was in all likelihood being torn apart in a raging explosion brought about by a mysterious and terrifying space mercenary).

**"SELF DESTRUCT IN 10...9..."**

_"HELLO SPACE FAMILY. WE WILL BE FREE AND FLYING SOON. YOU ARE WELCOME."_

**"...8...7...6..."**

_"PLEASE HOLD ONTO SURFACES OR THINGS. THERE WILL BE A BIG BUMP."_

**"...5...4...3..."**

_"I LOVE YOU SESTRA."_

"Yeah, _thanks_ Helena-"

**"...2...1..."**

A deafening explosion. The ship suddenly and violently veering to the right. Alison screaming absolute bloody murder. Cosima and Delphine clinging onto each other as though it was the last time they were going to be together in the mortal world. Sarah determinedly staring out the viewport, watching as the exploded fragments of most of her ship sped past. And then, amidst all the carnage, Helena's soothing voice:

_"I HAVE FOUND A HARPOON."_

An even louder crunching noise. The harpoon from Rachel's star ship flew past the viewport and into the distance. Sarah was pleased to see most of the debris was colliding violently into Rachel's force field.

 _"WE ARE FREE OF PLANTS AND BEDS AND KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS BUT WE ARE ALSO FREE OF THE BLACKHOLE."_ Helena notified everyone happily.

The spacecraft began to roll.

_"WE ALSO CANNOT STEER ANYMORE."_

Sarah slowly closed her eyes once more.

_"SPACE IS A NICE PLACE."_

A defeated hand moving to press the intercom. It buzzed weakly into life.

"Duncan you big nerd are you still there?"

_**"YES."** _

"We've come loose."

_**"NINETY PER CENT OF YOUR SPACECRAFT BLEW UP."** _

"As I said, we've come loose."

_**"THAT HARPOON COST TEN THOUSAND PIECES, SARAH."** _

"Come and pick us up, yeah?"

**_"NO."_ **

"Don't be a dork, Duncan."

_**"YOU CAN'T EVEN PAY TO REPLACE AN EIGHTH OF THAT HARPOON."** _

"I'm sure you have another one in that stupidly big ship of yours somewhere."

_**"THAT IS NOT THE POINT."** _

"Yeah it is, you can harpoon your white whale again another time."

_**"YOU ARE NOT MY WHITE WHALE."** _

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Duncan," Sarah said as she relaxed back into her seat. She grinned as Rachel's spacecraft slowly began to turn around.

 _ **"WE ARE GOING TO COME TO TERMS ABOUT THIS,"**_ Rachel's voice boomed out as her ship's teleporter whirred into action, **_"AS SOON AS YOU ARE ON BOARD, MARK MY WORDS. WE ARE GOING TO COME TO TERMS."_**


End file.
